‍“impellation” comes from the word “impel” – an urge to do something that comes from within, almost like projectile vomiting. Various circumstances in 2024 made it a rocky, tumultuous journey, forcing me to work through so many hardships and a lack of motivation to keep trying, but I have persisted. My experiences along the way have impelled me to synthesize my place in society, my emotions, and their connections within this set of works.

The modern world is filled with so much isolation, despite having the capabilities to be more connected than ever before in human history. I am no stranger to this phenomenon, which has been a strong guiding force in my life – perhaps often made worse by my neurodivergency and struggle to make social connections. I have never felt at home with other people – they can be a huge source of fear, and I have found that many lack compassion for those who are different – but I haven’t given up on them yet. No matter how alone and absolutely alien I have felt, I am also reminded that I am not the only one feeling this. It is important to explore these feelings because they aren’t talked about openly enough. Everybody is worthy of finding their people and a space to express whatever they’re going through freely.

Specifically, themes of loneliness, obsession, boredom, joy, neurodivergent excitement and meltdowns, among others, can be seen in these works, ranging from abstract to naturalistic. Some paintings required thorough step-by-step manuals, while in others, the paint guided each consecutive move, letting the medium speak for itself. Using our natural associations of colors with specific emotions, I was able to layer the many motivations behind each initial emotion I was conveying. This intuitive, adaptable methodology mirrors the fluid process of self-discovery and stepping back to analyze your own emotional patterns.